Redemption and Co-dependency

Dear God…         thank you text on black and brown board

Redemption, by definition, is the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil. The action of gaining or regaining possession of something in exchange for payment or clearing a debt. (

For the Christian, the redemptive price paid for our sin debt is the innocent blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross. We acknowledge that because of Adam’s disobedience; sin entered the human race and everyone born after him was born in sin – spiritually separated from God.

For this reason, God created a “Redemptive” plan of action to break the dominion of sin and reconcile us (humans) to righteous standing with Himself. This is done by placing our FAITH (complete trust) in Jesus Christ’s blood sacrifice as payment in full for our sins eternally. To think, God did this because of LOVE. He wants relationship with us.

So, if I was already a Christian when I got divorced, why did I need to be redeemed…AGAIN?

This redemption was not one to salvage my soul, it was to redeem my mind. The Lord showed me that my mind was not healthy.

You see, not much will change in your life until you change your mind. I had to go through an emotional detox. God helped me identify all the unhealthy emotional crutches in my life. I had to be de-programmed from low self-esteem, feelings of inferiority, a “savior” complex and more. I had been a woman suffering from Co-dependency and did not even know it. Co-dependency is defined as “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.” ( 

So THIS is why I ended up marrying an alcoholic – twice. As I learned more about this unhealthy, dysfunctional, mental state…suddenly, my life started to make sense. I want to share this information in hopes that it may help others:

(retrieved from:

20 Signs Of Codependency

So what does codependency actually look like? Some of the things that have been found to correlate with codependency include (Marks et al., 2012):

Other signs of codependency include (Lancer, 2016; Mental Health America):

  • Having a hard time saying no
  • Having poor boundaries
  • Emotional reactivity
  • Always feeling compelled to take care of people
  • A need for control, especially over others
  • Trouble communicating honestly
  • Fixating on mistakes
  • A need to be liked by everyone
  • A need to always be in a relationship
  • Denying one’s own needs, thoughts, and feelings
  • Intimacy issues
  • Confusing love and pity
  • Fear of abandonment

Remember I said God can take something as brutal as divorce and bring GOOD out of it? Divorce led me to seek God like never before. Seeking God like never before allowed me to “hear” His voice. Hearing His voice revealed my co-dependency dysfunction. Recognizing this dysfunction explained WHY I operated the way I did all of my adult life. Understanding the “why” of it all relieved a burden for me and sent me on a research endeavor to find out more about this “unhealthy place” I have been in for years.

THIS was the beginning of discovering who I am and what’s more, who I wanted to be! THIS IS GOOD.

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I am a woman who suffered the devastation of divorce and thought my life was over. But, God had another plan...

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