(It is my intent to publish weekly. However, there may be times where that is not possible. Thank you for reading my Blog and I hope it is encouraging to you).
The thing about divorce is that you feel like an “outsider”. It seems everyone is married and it seems everyone else is doing just fine in their relationship.
I remember noticing that I was developing Social anxiety. I did not want to walk in a crowded room because I felt like EVERYONE would look at me and identify me as a “Divorcee”. I felt like a Red bulls eye was on every piece of clothing I owned that said “DIVORCED”! In my own mind, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was allowing the experience of divorce to become my identity and this was happening via my own negative self-talk.
It took a while for me to learn to separate my experience from my identity. Divorce is what happened TO me, it does not define me as a person. So there is so much more to me! I think it is critical that persons experiencing divorce realize that it was an EXPERIENCE and it is NOT the sum total of who you are.
I had to do a lot of positive self-talk to remind myself of WHO I really was because negative thoughts flooded my mind continually. I had to counter them with the TRUTH of God’s Word and believe me, it was a mental war each day! I had to examine the content of my heart because that is what determines how I truly see myself.
Proverbs 23:7(a) – “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:…” (KJV)
I had to remember that God (Hebrew name – Yahweh) saved my soul as an individual and I was His child. I was His child long before I was a wife and my marital status has absolutely NOTHING to do with my salvation. I had to be reminded that God loved me with an everlasting love because He chose to do so even before I made a decision about accepting Him as my Savior.
Romans 5:8 – “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
My thoughts had to be re-directed to what gave me TRUE VALUE. I had it wrong. I evaluated my worth by my relationships with others, so if the relationship failed, I felt worthless. It is amazing to me as I look back to see how I completely minimized THE most important relationship of my life (with Jesus Christ), which had not changed at all.
God had to teach me WHY I was valuable to Him. Married or divorced, I was committed to serving Him by serving people with the gifts He has given me to counsel, teach, preach, administrate, mentor, and write. I am a compassionate, caring individual who is capable of empathizing with the pain of others and offering comfort and support. I am generous and welcoming and believe in treating all human beings with respect. I am committed to learning how to “die to self”, as Jesus requires of His true disciples, and place the ministry of the Kingdom of God above all else. This is not a PRIDE session, this me saying OUTLOUD who Cathy really is and embracing all that God has created me to be!
Here is my question to you – When is the last time you told yourself who you TRULY are? Or, have you taken the time to figure it out? Take the time. You will discover hidden treasure. When you find what is good, embrace it, say it OUTLOUD. It is okay to affirm yourself and recognize the beautiful gifts God has given you to pour into the world.